super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
