Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
