I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
