turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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