found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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