Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
