You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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