Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
