she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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