I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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