Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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