We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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