Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
