and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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