My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
