I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I think my moral compass just broke
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
