so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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