Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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