we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
