TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
zippers are such a cool invention
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
