The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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