I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
