Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
