My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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