No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
