operation harelip BJ is a go
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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