You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's blow job season.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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