you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
