You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
