Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
