I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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