i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
