Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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