I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
