Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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