I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
