That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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