I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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