I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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