Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
