Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
