I hate your face
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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