Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
