Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
