oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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