So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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