Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
