I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
