Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
