hotel room ftw
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
