We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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