When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
